Five Weeks On

I can't believe it's been five weeks since I updated my blog! While most of that time has been consumed changing diapers, making formula, and getting the little man to sleep, the time still goes by so fast. On the 10th we celebrated him being a month old and he's changed so much already. He continues to amaze us with his consistency as he wakes up at nearly the same time each night to feed. In the next couple weeks he may very well go without the middle of the night feeding, but we'll have to see how he feels about that!

We did have to take the boy to the doctor's office today for a follow up from an appointment last week. While every baby spits up from time to time, he seemed to be doing it quite frequently and in large amounts. I was hesitant to call the doctor since I didn't want to become one of "those parents" who call with every little thing. However, our pediatrician had told us to bring him in if he was spitting up more than an ounce and I could tell my wife was getting concerned. He was arching his back and sometimes even crying as he was eating, although he was clearly hungry. Turns out she was right and we probably should have brought him in right away as he was diagnosed with acid reflux.

Since the diagnosis and with the assistance of two newborn sized doses of Zantac a day, he's eating like an absolute champ! The NP we saw last week said in the past many babies were just labeled as "colic-ee" or "spitters," but he clearly had been in some discomfort and can now treat the problem. Today his pediatrician checked him out and was very pleased with his growth. He's now up to 9 pounds and 2 ounces, up from 8 pounds and 12 ounces just last week! Even with his growth, however, we put pants on him size 0-3 and he looks like MC Hammer!

I also took the first video with the camcorder today (I had taken some low quality videos with my digital still camera) and we have a ton of pictures of him up on the website. Some folks may wonder why I waited so long to get out the camcorder, but for awhile there he wasn't really moving very much even when he was awake! So, the still pictures pretty much told the story. Last week my parents came back for a short visit, but they often have to make due with the pictures we put up on the web. Their other grandchild lives very close to their home, so it's a definite change which I'm sure is difficult.

Overall I have been successful at keeping the picture taking to an acceptable level. Yes, we want shots of him as he gets bigger, but I also want to avoiding having a camera glued to my face whenever he makes the slightest movment! I'm trying to just spend time reading, talking, or singing to him and simply enjoying the moment. We do have the occasional thought, "We didn't take any pictures of him today!" But we have plenty of shots and we have so much fun with him. I'm definitely as happy as I've ever been hanging out with my wife, son, and loyal cat by my side.

First Field Trip

It's been a busy time as one might expect with a newborn in the house! It took about a week just for my wife and I to feel like regular people again, although she still has all the aches and pains of a c-section recovery. The boy has been great though as he only gets us up once in the night to feed and have his diaper checked. What's been the most helpful has been his consistency and, while that may very well change, we feel generally rested and recovered from the hospital stay.

We have taken the little one for a few quick trips over the weekend to Target on Saturday and to the maternal grandparents house on Sunday. However, today was his first real field trip! We stopped by my wife's workplace to show him off at an office picnic where he was a big hit. Then we headed to Toys R Us and Babies R Us to pick him up some clothes because most of what we bought him was too big! Given the fact that my wife had gestational diabetes, we naturally figured he'd be around 8 pounds. But, he's definitely a little man for the moment at least!

Our last stop was Pizzeria Uno and I must say that he was a champ. He ate and burped very well and slept most of the time. He also went without a diaper check for about 5 hours and didn't complain at all. I know it remains to be seen if he'll stay calm and consistent in the weeks ahead, but he really has been an angel. Oh he belts out those high pitched cries and is fussy around mealtimes, but we couldn't have wished for a more content baby.


So, after a quick stop at school to return some VERY overdue interlibrary loans (yes, I've been a delinquent borrower!), we are chilling at home watching the Red Sox game. We're all pretty spent and the boy was a bit fussy during his feeding, but he's already done so well today that I couldn't complain if I tried. Sometimes I sit with him at night and look down, having to take it in that he's really my son, that we really created this little life. How thankful am I for my family? I don't think there are enough words in all the universe quite frankly.

And, speaking of the Red Sox, they just came back in the top of the 9th to tie the game! Anyone who knows us is aware of our love of the Sox and we have been trying to bring the boy up to speed. I have said repeatedly that I'd be ok if he doesn't grow up to be a Red Sox fan or even if he doesn't like baseball, but it is something that I think we'll all be able to share as he grows up. The World Series last year was a time I'll never forget and, actually, wasn't it just about 9 months ago? Hmm, it seems like something else was going on around that time, but what could it be? :)

The Week That Was

Well, it's official: I'm a dad! Our little man arrived at 5:01 am on July 10th and I just can't stop staring at our little man. Both sets of grandparents were at the hospital for the birth and helped us bring him home this past Wednesday. It was a very long and tough labor (sorry to all you moms and dads who hate to hear stories like this) that started on a Friday night and ended with a c-section in the wee hours of the morning the following Sunday. My wife pushed for over 4 hours and was an absolute trooper, enduring 3 epidurals and giving everything she had to give and more.

In the end, the boywas posterior and just couldn't make it through the birth canal. After they took my wife into the operating room I had to wait for what seemed like hours, thinking about what could happen to them in that room. Fortunately, my father saw her being wheeled down the corridor and, along with my mom a bit later, talked me through my waiting and worrying. I don't think I had ever been happier to see them in my life! But, before long, I was in the cold environment of the operating room.

I must admit that I did get a little queasy when I first sat down, but I hadn't eaten anything for hours and I had to balance myself on a stool like you find in many doctor's offices. It's high off the ground, not very stable, and moves with the slightest nudge. After a pep talk and some orange juice from the nurses, I went back in and saw my beautiful baby boy lying in the warmer: 6 pounds 11 ounces and 21 inches long. I followed the nurses who took him to the NICU, with a short stop in front of the waiting room to see the grandparents. As they moved him in, I realized that I had just left my wife alone in the operating room!

Needless to say I felt guilty about doing that and for telling her to push so forcefully, but one of the first things she said was how wonderful I had been during labor. That, and my newly born son, made me the proudest husband and father anywhere on the planet...and no one can tell me any different. Due to the c-section, my wife had to stay in the hospital for a few days which gave us a great opportunity to get to know the little man, but also to have a nurse take him down to the nursery so we could get some sleep. I stayed with her every night until the last one when she insisted I get some sleep in our own bed. It was agony for me to leave them that night, but the uninterrupted rest has come in handy!

So, as I write this my beautiful boy is up in his crib and my beautiful wife is in the recliner, both fast asleep. The boy has been so well behaved and seems to want to take in everything around him. We sent out an email to everyone about his arrival and the good wishes are still coming! It's really the first day it's just been the three of us as my parents headed home this morning and I've begun to realize the awesome responsibility we've assumed. He changes every day and no two days have been even remotely alike. I want to thank everybody who has wished us well and supported us through everything we have endured over the past few years. Both sets of grandparents have already done more and been appreciated in ways they may never fully know. Our gratitude goes out to them each and every day. But, above all, I want to thank my wife for helping to bring our son into this world. I love you both so very much.

On the Horizon

Today is the first day of July, the weather is cooling off, and I'm living fancy free! It's been a busy two weeks since my last post and the amount of news to report is getting thick. So, I'll do my best to cut to the chase. Brady may be here in just over a week! Yay! After an appointment with our OB, my wife has been scheduled to be induced on Saturday July 9th. We see Dr. C. again next week, so the arrangements could change, but she's on at the hospital that weekend and wants to do the birth herself!

Suffice it to say that we're absolutely thrilled beyond belief! My wife had been planning to play "Let's Make a Deal" with Dr. C, but she brought it up before she could say a word. The baby is 37 weeks as of yesterday, so he's had proper baking time and we were told that after 38 weeks the VERY LOW mortality rate for babies with gestational diabetes does start to go up. While we had been worried about him being too big, the estimated weight is 6 pounds 4 ounces, coincidently the same weight I was when I was born!

So, my wife is on maternity leave as of today but doesn't think the reality of not going to work will hit until next week. And speaking of reality, how do you think we'll feel on Friday night when we head into the hospital? I'd love to hear some predictions. I must admit that when I started this blog I expected a few responses to my posts, but other than my parents we haven't had much activity. So, if you are out there as faithful readers, please let yourselves be heard! While those who post previously had to sign up with Blogger, you can now post anonymously if you wish. Now you have no excuse!

Today we have another non-stress test to make sure the baby's heart rate and movement are good, but after feeling him last night I don't think we'll have long to wait! He was bouncing around in his tight space and I could feel body parts! It was a really weird sensation I must say, but the ultimate feeling will be holding my son for the first time and I have absolutely no idea how I'll feel at that moment. I'm told it's like no other feeling in the world...better than a first kiss, getting married, or any other event in our short time on this Earth. And I don't doubt that for one second...I love you little man!

Baby Stun Gun

So much for posting more regularly, huh? Life always seems to throw a few more curves than you expect, but that's all part of being an expectant parent. My wife will be 35 weeks as of tomorrow, so we are now dealing with the baby's very imminent arrival! We already know the doctor won't let her go past her due date of July 21st, but our little man could decide to come at any time now!

In any physical sense, we're ready as the nursery is stocked with just about everything he'll need for the next two years! But the emotional preparations are constant and, I'm getting the sense, never ending. Does one ever really feel fully ready for any of life's many challenges? I expect most folks would say no, so we're not really any different. While I've been able to hear the heartbeat, see him in the womb, and even been kicked in the head (email me if you want to hear that story), I don't feel that I've been able to bond with the boy as much my wife has the last 8 months. But I'll get plenty of time to bond with both of them in the weeks following the birth.

Still, I don't want to seem like I'm complaining. We've been to triage at the hospital only twice and both times they said the baby looked perfect. All of our non stress tests have been great, although today he was feeling a bit tired and perhaps a bit cranky. So, the nurse had to stimulate him to get an accurate heart rate with what my wife and I affectionately refer to as the "Baby Stun Gun". In reality it's called a vibro acoustic stimulator, but it's a lot like those buzzers that people put in their palm before shaking your hand.

In the end, the BSG did it's job, he moved, and they knew his heartrate was normal. But I have to say my wife and I were a little apprehensive about our baby's first real reaction to that kind of stimulation. Heck, it made both of us jump, so imagine the baby's reaction! We try to remember that everything is going as it should and he will be here soon enough, but that doesn't make my wife sleep any better with the equivalent of a bowling ball attached to her belly. But damn it, we love our little bowling ball...how could you not?

To stress or not to stress...is it even a question?

My wife and I have another shower this weekend which should be nothing but a joyous time, but once again we are both feeling the stress. And that's not really what either of us is aiming for as we hit 32 weeks! The biggest issue has been handling parental schedules while my folks are in town and having debates with them about people who haven't RSVPed yet. Did they get an invitation? Are they mad at one person or another? Should we call them? And then, if they didn't get their invitation, will they think they weren't originally invited? And on and on...it's enough to cause a nervous breakdown sometimes!

Speaking of stress, today is my wife's second non-stress test. Am I the only one who think that's an odd name for a test? So, it's not a stress test? Oh it is, but not really? What does that mean? Argh! Well, it's not really that bad, but it is confusing to say the least. That's like saying, "When we go to the movies I'm going to have a non-popcorn experience." Does that mean I'm NOT having popcorn at the movies and will get something else? Or that I'm not ingesting anything at the movie? We could use a little more specificity here people!

Oh, was I ranting? Sorry about that! Just seemed like a day to blow off some steam. While every couple has spats and occasional shouting matches, I find that I'm a lot more reluctant (or perhaps just more remorseful afterwards) to engage in such things while Julie is pregnant. No one is immune, but with so many hormones being put out by both of us I think it adds just a little too much uncertainty into the mix. I'll try to watch myself more carefully over the next few weeks but, until then, I am very sorry honey for all the stuff I've said and will say up through the delivery. And, no, I'm not off my meds....honest! :)

What Else? :)

It's been a busy time for my wife and I as we pass the 31 week mark of the pregnancy. In the past week we've had two baby showers, one last Sunday for friends and family living near my parents and another yesterday given by Julie's co-workers. The one over the weekend was planned by our friends Jen and Chuck with help from Chuck's Mom and Aunt. My brother and his family were there along with my parents and friends of theirs in a room at the Golden Arrow Resort in Lake Placid. And I would say without a doubt that the highlight of the event was revealing the gender of our little one: IT'S A BOY!!!

We were able (or should I say my wife was able) to move up our ultrasound appointment to last Friday when it had originally been scheduled to take place after the shower had passed. I think a few people suspected and my Dad was even able to guess the name! I can't express fully how happy we are to have a healthy baby boy whom we no longer have to refer to as "it"! According to our OB, the baby is exactly the size and weight he should be and Julie's sugar levels are right on target. However, she started non-stress tests this week which will continue until he is born and, if they believe he isn't responding the way he should be, they could take him at any time. For now, though, he's looking good.

We got a lot of very nice gifts at the shower, including a handmade blanket from my mother, about a dozen books, and two "tubs" of baby stuff from Jen & Chuck! Eveyone was so happy for us, although my neice Breanna thought it would be a girl. But, don't all 8 year old girls think boys are icky? :) I'm quite sure she'll come around. Jen and her crew put on a wonderful event with homemade food and a welcoming atmosphere. The shower yesterday put on by my wife's co-workers was more low key, but it always feels good to have your workplace show support for an impending birth.

So, as I look forward to the weeks ahead I'm going to try to post more regularly. The inevitability of the baby's arrival has never seemed more real as space in the nursey shrinks at almost the same rate that he grows inside my wife's belly. We have birthing classes, an increasing number of OB visits, and so much baby gear to get organized. So, I'll do my best to keep up with more frequent entries! Sometimes I wonder how we'll fit the little man into our already busy lives, but once we're holding him in our arms I don't think any of that concern will be left. In fact, we'll probably start to wonder how we ever got along without him.

A boy thing?

It's been awhile since my last post, but I'm happy to report that we've had no further trips to triage! Our OB has continued to raise Julie's insulin doses, especially her nighttime one, as the doctor would like to get her fasting rate lower. Despite that, however, all signs point to a normal pregnancy. The reality of the situation has continued to hit us both at odd times, but the progression continues to be gradual. I have no doubt we'll conquer any obstacles as we begin our baby classes this month, but as the Boy Scouts say, "Be Prepared!"

As people who know me can attest, I have been fascinated by the different ways the modern father's role is described. Whether it be in the media, nurses and doctors, or your average "Joe and Jane" on the street, one encounters a spectrum of attitudes, prejudices, and even sexist remarks...often from women no less! However, those with whom I share a gender are often the most egregious offenders. I often ask myself the age old question: "Are these stereotypical attitudes towards gender inherent or learned?" And while I have gathered a lot of information on the issue, I have come to no great conclusion. Yet, I continue the attempt.

As the pregnancy has progressed, I have experienced first hand how the role of fathers during pregnancy is regarded. Some have been undoubtedly positive, such as a book called The Expectant Father, by Armin Brott. Inside, Mr. Brott provides an atmosphere of partnership and support for each other during pregnancy. It does maintain some old sterotypes, but overall it gives fathers space to learn how to support their wives and voice their fears and concerns too. At times Julie has told me that my book has been more informative than hers!

On the other hand, I have also seen the "bad" side of things. Earlier this week we got a call from our new pediatrician's office reminding us of "Julie's prenatal appointment." My first question (jokingly of course) was, "When is my prenatal appointment then?" Nearly every magazine in print regarding pregnancy includes the word "Mom," Mothers," or "Maternity" in the title, but I have yet to see the word "Dads" "Fathers" or "Paternity". As I already stated, there are resources for fathers, but they are clearly in the minority. And then today I read an article in a year-old issue of Fit Pregnancy magazine titled, "You've Got Males" about the relationship between a mother, her two boys, and her husband. It's a quick read and, in my opinion, a perfect example of how stereotypes of men held by women as well as an instance of a man exemplifying those very stereotypes affect children.

I think my wife agrees with me for the most part, although I wonder if she thinks I'm obsessing too much about instances like these (me obsess about things?) and should just let them go. If I'm right, it's good advice she's giving me and with how much we both have to deal with I'd do well to take it to heart. However, I can't help feeling that, at times, society views fathers as an optional add-on accessory. This impression isn't without cause as deadbeat dads litter the court system, but while the media also reports on moms who have abandoned their children, I have rarely if ever heard the term deadbeat attached to their names.

So, we are brought back to the age old question again and still I am not capable of imparting great wisdom on the subject. Am I saying that men won't run away from their responsibilities? No. Am I saying there are just as many women who do so? No. Am I saying that men are better than women at raising a child? Certainly not! So, what am I saying? Quite simply, I am saying that I believe any parent, male or female, is capable of any type of behavior and that gender stereotypes are best left in the past. I look forward to a time when people regularly throw baby showers including men and women without wondering if relatives will be offended and where mothers and fathers are regarded as equal partners in bringing a child into this world. Perhaps I am looking for a perfect world or am holding on to a fantasy, but to me the first step will be discarding those who say, "It's a boy (or girl) thing" to excuse their sexist behavior. And now, if you'll excuse me, I have my own learning...and unlearning...to do.

Paging Peg Bushey

We had a bit of a scare today that turned into an educational experience. Last night my wife Julie was feeling a bit faint, seeing the tunnel that many people describe when they are light headed. I got her into bed and, while we were concerned, it just seemed like one of those things women have to deal with in pregnancy that I unfortunately have no power to control. The doctors had upped her daily insulin dose as well as the number of shots from 1 to 4 per day, so we figured that must be the cause. She'd also had a similar incident at work a few weeks ago where she blacked out completely, but still we weren't overly concerned.

However, around 10 this morning Julie called me as I was preparing for a doctor appointment of my own and told me she had phoned the OB about her symptoms from the previous evening. Apparently the doctors WERE very concerned and Julie was waiting to hear back from them as to whether she should be admitted to the hospital! I quickly found the number for my appointment, left a message canceling, and almost immediately got a call from Julie with the verdict: we were headed to the triage unit!

Now, while "triage" sounds pretty serious, we arrived on the birthing floor to find a very nice and relaxed nurse at a reception desk. It became apparent that this was the staging area for pregnancy related issues. After taking some blood for tests, we soon learned that a VERY young expectant mom was just next door to our cubicle with a woman we could only guess was her mother. There was no evidence of a father and her young voice was clearly filled with fear. After a few minutes, the nurse went in to say that her baby was coming and that she would be moved to a room shortly. It was kind of exciting to hear about another expectant mom, but a conversation that was to soon follow nearly brought tears to my eyes.

By now everyone has seen or heard stories of young unwed mothers, whether it be on the news, in the paper, or a Lifetime movie of the week usually starring the mother from Family Ties. In this case it was hard to determine the age of our new "neighbor," but her unwed status became very clear. After being told she was about to deliver she called her father to tell him the news, but by the time the conversation ended her excitement had turned quickly to sadness. "What did he say?", asked the mother. Fighting back tears, the soon to be mom replied, "I told him he was going to be a grandpa soon and he said, 'Well, not really. You'd have to be married for that to be official.' He made me feel awful." There was a bit of a pause, after which her mother said quietly, "That's just the way he is."

Soon after that exchange, the nurses came for the two women and we didn't hear any more about them. We both felt a bit guilty having listened to their private conversation, but I think we both wonder how she made out and, perhaps more importantly, how she makes out when she goes home. I have often wondered how much parents' behavior affects their children. And while I have come to no great conclusions, I know that every child, regardless of what sins they allegedly commit, deserves nothing less than unconditional love from those they love unconditionally.

As for us, all the tests they ran came back normal and any concern about preeclampsia, the condition they thought most likely to cause her symptoms, seems to have abated for now. We ended up waiting nearly 4 hours for the results and I tried to keep Julie entertained. I'd make up jokes, tell stories, and use the bed straps as a makeshift slingshot to gently "thwack" Julie (she'd probably take exception to my use of the word 'gently') in her side. At one point, over the loudspeaker came the following announcement: "Paging Peg Bushey, paging Peg Bushey". Right on cue, both of us starting laughing uncontrollably, causing the fetal heart monitor Julie was hooked to screech just as loudly. Whether that name ranks up there with "Amanda Huginkiss" and "I.P. Freely" or if it was just the fact that we'd been staring at the patients bill of rights in English and Spanish translations for hours, I can't really say. But I'll never forget this day, or the young woman next to us, and I wonder how her day (as well as Ms. Bushey's) turned out.

Time Flies

To say that time has been passing quickly has become the understatement of our lives! My wife will be 26 weeks tomorrow and the idea that Julie & I will be bringing an infant home in less than 3 months is beginning to settle in our collective consciousness. I wouldn't say that it's hit me from out of the blue as it is actually more gradual than I expected. It's not something you notice from one day to the next, but when Thursday comes and another week has passed you really notice the changes.

In my last entry we had just ordered the nursery furniture and three days later it was at Babies R Us! The three pieces made their way here on Saturday, I had the crib up later that day, and the next few days were spent cleaning out the nursery. You can view the pictures here. Julie & I are both very pleased with all the pieces we bought, although we may need one more before the baby arrives. We also have a glider/rocker chair coming from Simon's Baby Furniture in Pittsford, but that's being built custom and won't be here for a few weeks yet.

The other news is that our OB, in consultation with another doctor in the practice, has been raising Julie's insulin dosage steadily over the last few weeks. However, she was able to take it all in 1 shot per day. Then this week they decided to space it out and raise the number of shots to 3. One for morning, another before dinner, and the last before bed! She's being a real trooper about the whole thing and shows me how much strength she has each and every day. Sure she has tough days, but she always seems to rise above it all.

So, we continue to look forward to our new arrival, but we're also developing an appreciation for the weekends we have together. In many ways they have become routine: go to Wegmans, get to the mall for those little things, a required stop at Babies R Us, and an early dinner. However, we know full well that things will change soon and, while we do lament the loss of our "independence" from time to time, we're so looking forward to sharing weekends, trips, and every day for about the next 18 years (give or take a few) with our little one. Oh how the time will fly...but we wouldn't have it any other way.

Together Again

It's been a couple weeks since my last post, but not because of a lack of baby related happenings! Julie & I have been making our final decisions on the nursery and ordered the furniture over the weekend. I've already had a request from my dad to put pictures of them up as soon as we can, so I will debut the nursery with the kid's stuff when we get it set up. The two larger pieces, an armoire and a changing table will come fully assembled, but I'll have to put the crib together and will likely have my father in law's help (as well as his truck!). It's supposed to be here in about 7 days, so we're hopeful there will be a debut by this time next week. Stay tuned for any updates!

Over the last week or so both Julie & I have been reading ahead on what to expect the first few days, weeks, and months after the baby arrives. There's a lot out there for us to know! I won't speak for Julie, but deep down I have a feeling that we'll have instincts to guide us for most of it and that a lot of trial and error will be involved. I'll warn both sets of grandparents right now that there will probably be a number of late night phone calls! They may be filled with reports that the screaming in the background must be bubonic plague when a diaper rash is a more likely prognosis! We'll do our very best to stay calm at all times when we're on the hotline, but we can't make any promises.

As I mentioned in an earlier entry, I've been thinking back to my childhood and the things my parents introduced me to as a little one. They are the usual suspects: Peter Rabbit, Curious George, Paddington Bear, and just about every educational program on PBS. But none is more treasured that my old friends who lived on Sesame Street. Fortunately, they are still around and more present than ever in our culture. They weren't just TV shows since they were a constant presence in books, stories, and my imagination. I couldn't imagine our progeny without them! And no other characters were more beloved than Bert & Ernie.

To my eternal dismay, recent commentators have questioned their "lifestyle" in a PC world run amuck, but as a child I always had a better explanation: they were brothers silly! To a young stocky boy who grew up with a tall sprouting twig of a sibling, it didn't ever seem that odd that they slept in the same room and shared their daily lives. So, whether or not others think they were brothers, those lovable Muppets were best of friends...and now they're together again to fill another child's imagination with their adventures. And, by the way, did you notice that everyone can see Snufalufagus now? What is up with that!?!

Alive & Kicking

It's been a busy time here in Expectant Fatherland! On Friday I spent much of the day cleaning out what used to be the office and is slowly becoming the nursery. You never really know how much stuff you accumulate until you have to clear out a room. I could just grab much of it and pile it elsewhere, but I'm trying to find a home for everything before it comes out. So, it's not going as fast as I would like, but at least I have most things organized and against the walls!

Then on Saturday we went to Babies R Us to start our Baby Registry. Boy they have a lot of stuff! We've taken a good number of trips there to get an idea what to expect, but it's not the same when you are let loose on the place with a scanner. Fortunately, Julie had made up an Excel spreadsheet with everything we needed, so we managed to get it done fairly quickly. Trips there often remind me of the things I had as a kid, although I can't really remember much until I was 3. I find a lot of the same things, however, and keep them in mind for our little one. There's one book I know I'll want for the kid called My Book About Me by Dr. Seuss. It's really designed for when kids are a bit older, but I always took that book off the bookshelf in my room when I wanted to read about what I used to be like.

Of all the events of note during the pregnancy, my new favorite has to be what I experienced on Saturday night: I felt the baby kick! It was nothing like I thought it would be and I am still in awe today. I had heard others, including Julie, refer to the sensation as a "flutter," but that doesn't do it justice. The kid moves around so fast that it's hard to get a fix on the location. However, once you find it you can't believe what you are feeling. That's my kid! I'm the dad! Holy crap! Hey, don't kick your mother! :) Well, I guess he or she has very little else to do (sorry hon!). I'm going to try playing some music for the baby in the next few days, so the bonding will definitely continue. And, at least for now, I won't tell the kid to turn down the music.

A Proper Perspective

Well, we didn't find out the gender of the baby and I must say I was pretty peeved! The sonographer looked for quite awhile and the baby was just not going to cooperate. At first the baby was quite active, even placing a hand between the legs to avoid revealing the secret. After my wife took a bathroom break, the baby had settled on its feet and wouldn't move for anything. In all honesty the sonographer did a great job trying to figure it out, but it was just a no go.

To be brutally honest, I was perfectly crushed. I had been so looking forward to finding out! I wanted to buy him a little baseball outfit or her a little...well, baseball outfit. ;) But that wasn't the point! I know the little rascal is in there as we've seen and heard the baby several times. But when my wife told me the baby had kicked; that they had actually made contact? I was so jealous I could barely stand it! I wanted to find a way to bond with the little one and finding out the gender seemed to be the way. I so sad at first I could cry and then so angry I could have shouted! I mean, what could be worse?

Then I thought about it for a moment and looked past my ego. The baby has no readily apparent abnormalities. The baby is moving and kicking. The baby extended a hand so we could see it. The baby is not too large. The baby is not too small. Julie's blood sugar levels are stable. We have an apparently healthy fetus that will be here soon and it doesn't matter one damn bit that we don't know if it's a girl or a boy. That's a proper perspective if I ever heard one.

Halfway Home

Without much fanfare, Julie and I reached the halfway point in the pregnancy on Thursday. We've both been busy with school this week and I've had a nasty cold, so blogging hasn't been high on the priority list! Apparently all of us (except my wife thank goodness) left the outlet mall with more than our purchases. Perhaps the pregnancy has boosted her immune system and, if so, I gotta get me one of those!

I have been doing some reading this past week, mostly in a book Julie picked up soon after we found out she was pregnant: Belly Laughs: The Naked Truth About Pregnancy and Childbirth by Jenny McCarthy. It's a short, blunt, and very honest book about her experience as an expectant mother. You wouldn't think much wisdom could be imparted by a woman best known for posing naked in Playboy and as a co-host on the MTV show Singled Out, but her brutal honesty make the book rather enjoyable. I'll warn you dads out there that she is pretty rough in spots on those with a gender other than female (and I haven't even gotten to the point where she actually gives birth!), but it's all in good fun and she's clearly a very loving and concerned mom. I'd recommend it to any expectant parent who wants a quick and fun read.

I've been counting off the days until our ultrasound on Monday. For those of you who aren't in the know, we had an ultrasound about a month ago and had high hopes for finding out the gender. Julie and I are NOT the type who like to be surprised about such things, so we wanted to know as soon as possible! It was a bit of a letdown, but seeing the baby in action last time more than made up for it. It's simply amazing how much you can see on an ultrasound compared to even a decade ago. But if all goes well, we'll know on Monday and you'll hear the news here first. I think we're agreed that we'll announce the name at the same time as the gender, but you never know how you'll feel in that moment. Perhaps it's something we'll want to keep to ourselves....for an hour or so anyway. :)

Parenthood Q & A

We had a great time with our friends over the weekend! We all went shopping on Saturday afternoon at Babies "R" Us which was a very different experience having a baby along. My wife & I have been there a handful of times before, but it doesn't prepare you for all the people that notice you because of the baby. Her smile lights up any space she's in and complete strangers melt at the sight of her. Her parents picked up a lot of stuff they needed and, while we looked for us, mostly we wanted to see how she'd respond to the outing.

By the time we hit Olive Garden for dinner she was plenty hungry and downed a bottle of formula faster than I could! We had to wait awhile for a table and everyone in the place was checking out her smile. When we got to the table she tried out a restaurant high chair for the first time and sat up all by herself! She was also quite taken with the waiter as he took our orders, looking at the one of us that was ordering and then looking back to the waiter as he asked questions. It was too funny!

After a rough night for the baby and her parents we all headed to a nearby outlet mall for a day of shopping. I only heard her crying once during the night, but her parents were up a lot as they tried to find out what was wrong. As an expectant father, I think the hardest part would be not knowing what to do in those situations. But by the time we headed out she was her usual self: content and all smiles!

Although I had been to many of the stores we hit I was still overwhelmed with the amount of clothing and supplies available for babies. While some of it is gender neutral, the gender specific items range from your traditional pink and blue to every color in the spectrum. My wife has had a strong feeling for some time that we are having a boy, so I didn't object in the slightest when she picked out a boy's outfit in Osh Kosh Bgosh. How can anyone resist a t-shirt and overalls? We're both very anxious to find out the gender and hopefully they'll be able to tell next Monday. Just think: we could know in another week!

So, after hitting the food court and a few more stores we said our goodbyes and our friends headed home, but I like to think they left behind two prospective parents with some answers...and plenty more questions about what it means to be a parent.

Baby Time...But Not Ours Just Yet!

We've been enjoying our visit with our friends and their baby daughter. While our cat is reserving judgment on her for now, we're already in love with this little girl! At first the cat hid under the bed for awhile, but after we got settled in bed he took his usual perch by my wife's legs. It's good for him as we wonder how he'll manage in 5 months when our baby comes home. However, it's not quite the same thing!

I was expecting to hear the baby during the night, but we must have thick walls because neither of us heard her until she came out this morning. I'm trying to get on a better schedule of sleep since I often need around 9 hours and I'm not likely to get that when the baby comes! I'll have to learn how to take naps as well. It's all part of the adjustment, but I don't really think you can do much to prepare beforehand. You just have to learn how to go with the flow.

The really interesting event should be this evening when we all go shopping and out to eat. When my wife & I were first together the sound of a baby at the next table or the next aisle would drive us nuts, but perhaps that was nature's way of telling us that we weren't ready for a baby. Over time we have begun to adjust to it and are told by parents that you learn to block most of it. We're going to hit Babies "R" Us for some shopping and either Outback Steakhouse or Olive Garden for dinner since our friends don't have any of those places right where they live. Regardless, it'll be an adventure and I'm sure I'll have plenty of stories to tell.

Weekend with Friends

A short entry will have to suffice for my first "real" post. I spent the day cleaning the house before the arrival of our friends and their daughter who was born last October. It's our first experience being around a baby for an extended period of time in our own home. We're excited and will probably get a very good idea of what a baby's sleep schedule is like.

The other news of the day is that my wife has to start taking insulin for gestational diabetes. She was diagnosed a little over a week ago at 18 weeks and the doctor gave her a blood sugar monitor. Most women who get GD don't get a diagnosis until 28 weeks. So, after a week of testing and keeping a chart they decided to go for the insulin. My wife has PCOS so we always knew it could happen. We're obviously concerned, but we also know they have lots of ways to monitor both her and the baby. The worry is that the baby will get too big and have to be delivered early. I just hope we can at least make it to 36 weeks, but I'm amazed at the things they can do nowadays.

That's it for now...until next time!

A New Beginning!

Welcome to GenX Dad! Whether you came looking for my old blog or found me any other way, I request only a few paragraphs of your valuable time. Basically, I'm from Generation X and I'm going to be a Dad, so the new blog title shouldn't be that difficult to understand. My wife, who along with our baby and myself will be the major focus of this blog, is about 4 months along (or 19 weeks depending on your way of counting) and it's been a wonderful experience. Although we've had some bumps along the road and we'll probably have to get my wife's allignment checked by the time she gives birth, I'm ecstatic that I'm going to be a dad! The only problem? I have no idea what I'm doing!

Now, before you think I'm all worried and about to jump off the balcony, I'm not! WooHoo! But, suffice it to say that I've given a lot of thought to what kind of father I'll be and that's a lot to process. So, I'll be recording my observations on being an expectant dad for the next few months and continue on into the wild ride that comes with being someone's father! Yikes! That's a lot of responsibility, but I like to think I'm up to the challenge. I hope anyone who has made it this far will stay on the ride and see what the experience is really like from my GenX "child of the 80s" perspective. Feel free to respond with comments, email my posts to interested family or friends, and maybe you'll even learn something along the way....and then you can teach it to me!

Why did I decide to radically alter my old blog you ask? Oh, that was just a question in my own head? Oh, ok....but I'll answer it anyway. Basically I felt that a blog about my entire life was a bit too much to keep up with and probably of very little interest to anyone, but by focusing it on my thoughts about the baby, pregnancy, and being a dad I think I'll have better luck. So, you'll have to stay tuned to read the next exciting chapter! I'll also try to inject my perspective as a a GenXer on what fatherhood means to a new generation of dads. So if you didn't like the 80s and 90s in general or don't like to read about pregnancy and fatherhood you probably won't find this blog of much interest. However, I invite you to take me up on my free trial offer and update your bookmark to this blog's new site: http://genxdad.blogspot.com.

That's enough for now; don't you just hate these introductory statements? I know I do! Next time we'll start those little nuggets of wisdom, ok? Good deal! And for those of you interested in what came before this blog but just can't wait, the archives of my old blog are available in the links to the right. That's your right, not mine. :)